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I felt the intense need to have pigtails on the weekend… Joshua was particularly fascinated with them.pigtails sep09

Joshua turns 3 next month

Joshua turns 3 next month

The most edible little guy I know
The most edible little guy I know
And I have always had parties for my boys. Matthew has had 5 kickass parties now, and Joshua has had 2. This year, for Josh, seeing as he doesn’t go to school and have that many friends yet, I’m going to use the money I’d spend on a party, on spoiling just Joshua and Matthew for a whole day/weekend.

Joshua turns 3 on Saturday, 24 October 2009. I am going to take them both to the Pavilion Mall in Westville. We’re going to Build-A-Bear so they can each build their own bear from scratch. Then we’ll go to the games arcade for little rides and to play games. After that we’ll go to Spur for lunch so that Joshua can get sung to.

On the Sunday I’ll invite a friend or two over for a piece of birthday cake and to sing to Joshua. I think that’ll be a great idea and instead of spending money on sweets that just go to waste and exhorbitant costs for party entertainment, I’ll rather use the money on the boys themselves.

We’re getting visitors!

We’re getting visitors!

My stepkids, Rudi (15) and Jessica (12) arrive this weekend for a 2 week visit. We’re all very excited as we haven’t seen them in months. Rudi and Jess live in Uppington with their mom and stepdad. They are Riaan’s children from his first marriage.

Matthew and Joshua are uber excited of course, especially Matthew as he remembers alot about Rudi and Jessica, they were always very close. Joshua is going to adore them. Rudi and Jess are such stars with the little guys and in turn the little guys worship their older brother and sister.

We’re planning a few little outings such as the beach etc., but won’t be doing too much as I’m working throughout. I will take as many pics as I can and show you all. Here are two oldish pics in the meantime. One is of Jessica and I when Josh was still tiny. The other is at Matthew’s 2nd birthday party. Rudi is on the far left in the jumping castle, then Matthew, Jessica and their cousin Caylee.

Just stuffs

Just stuffs

Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don’t let anyone take it away from you ever. – Holly Marie Combs.

Abuse is the weapon of the vulgar. – Samuel Griswold Goodrich

No-one ever flew forward in life, looking backward. Therefore, the scars are just a reminder of where you have been, not where you are today, oh beautiful spirit. – Unknown.

If a woman sees ONE abusive behaviour, regardless of how small, she needs to remind herself that it IS abuse. Period!

Mental and verbal abuse slowly tears down a woman’s self esteem until there’s little left of the vibrant person she used to be.

You are always told that it’s your fault. If you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.

The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner’s expense.

You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.

Abuse is abuse whether it is done physical, emotional or both and it affects the woman’s health just the same because both can leave lifetime scars that will and can hurt you in both your personal and professional life.

The woman who goes through emotional abuse: experiences physical abuse with every spoken word that strikes and attacks her mind, body and spirit.

The abuser will threaten you “you can’t make it on your own, you don’t have what it takes to raise the kids alone”.

Why can’t I leave? I feel like I am losing me and I feel trapped. I know that he can control his temper, as he doesn’t do it to anyone other than me. Also, the reason your husband doesn’t treat others the way he treats you is that he knows he can’t. He can’t manipulate and abuse others and still have them around. But you, on the other hand, are a sure thing. You haven’t left yet, so unless you do something that lets him know it’s not okay to keep on this path with you, he won’t stop.

YOU are strong and powerful, and you CAN deal with all of this.

No-one should stay in a marriage because they are afraid to end it.

You also need to realize that an abusive husband will be prone to using control and scare tactics to get you to concede to a less than desirable divorce settlement.

At times, the risk of harm may be self-directed as in the threat of suicide while at the same time holding you hostage through guilt.

Leaving an abusive relationship requires appropriate supports. Your safety and that of children comes first.

Being in an abusive relationship strips us of all our self-confidence, makes us feel worthless and unattractive. We need time to heal and reclaim ourselves.

A rock band in the making

A rock band in the making

If you know me, you know how much I adore music and dancing around and acting silly to it. Well, it’s obviously rubbed off on my boys somewhat. Take last night for instance. I was in the kitchen (we have an open plan cottage) making dinner. I turned the radio up super loud and we did our thang. Matt was playing air guitar, Josh was dancing around in circles getting mega dizzy, and I was on vocals using a Sweet Chilli Sauce bottle as my microphone. We had an absolute blast!!

Sometimes, if we’re not a rock band, then we dance in the kitchen as the floor is slick. Matt and Josh lie on their backs and do their own version of breakdance, while I stand in the middle of them and dance. They swirl around rolling around me… it’s hysterical!

I love these times, may they never ever end and may Matt and Josh always remember how much fun they can have out of life. Thanks for reading. xxx