Your faith in yourself is all you will ever have. Don’t let anyone take it away from you ever. – Holly Marie Combs.
Abuse is the weapon of the vulgar. – Samuel Griswold Goodrich
No-one ever flew forward in life, looking backward. Therefore, the scars are just a reminder of where you have been, not where you are today, oh beautiful spirit. – Unknown.
If a woman sees ONE abusive behaviour, regardless of how small, she needs to remind herself that it IS abuse. Period!
Mental and verbal abuse slowly tears down a woman’s self esteem until there’s little left of the vibrant person she used to be.
You are always told that it’s your fault. If you hadn’t said what you said, or done what you did it would never have happened.
The mental abuser struggles with his own feelings of worthlessness and uses his relationship to create a feeling of personal power, at his partner’s expense.
You feel as if you are constantly walking on eggshells. There is a real degree of fear in the relationship. You have come to dread his outbursts, the hurtful things that he will find to say to you. Fear is not part of a loving relationship, but it is a vital part of a mentally abusive relationship. It enables the abuser to maintain control over you.
Abuse is abuse whether it is done physical, emotional or both and it affects the woman’s health just the same because both can leave lifetime scars that will and can hurt you in both your personal and professional life.
The woman who goes through emotional abuse: experiences physical abuse with every spoken word that strikes and attacks her mind, body and spirit.
The abuser will threaten you “you can’t make it on your own, you don’t have what it takes to raise the kids alone”.
Why can’t I leave? I feel like I am losing me and I feel trapped. I know that he can control his temper, as he doesn’t do it to anyone other than me. Also, the reason your husband doesn’t treat others the way he treats you is that he knows he can’t. He can’t manipulate and abuse others and still have them around. But you, on the other hand, are a sure thing. You haven’t left yet, so unless you do something that lets him know it’s not okay to keep on this path with you, he won’t stop.
YOU are strong and powerful, and you CAN deal with all of this.
No-one should stay in a marriage because they are afraid to end it.
You also need to realize that an abusive husband will be prone to using control and scare tactics to get you to concede to a less than desirable divorce settlement.
At times, the risk of harm may be self-directed as in the threat of suicide while at the same time holding you hostage through guilt.
Leaving an abusive relationship requires appropriate supports. Your safety and that of children comes first.
Being in an abusive relationship strips us of all our self-confidence, makes us feel worthless and unattractive. We need time to heal and reclaim ourselves.