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A letter to an awesome super hero

A letter to an awesome super hero

Dear Batman,

My handsome, muscled Dark Knight! So many conversations, so much shared… I just shine the Batman sign to the night sky and youโ€™re there.

Who could resist Batman? Definately not me. Swooning and drooling … that became the order of the day!

However, because youโ€™re so far away in Gotham City, it makes things difficult for us. We discussed it at length and decided that star-crossed lovers wouldnโ€™t work.

I need to say though that I miss your dark cape swishing through the night and the thought of those lips that would never kiss mine… and Iโ€™m sad. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

But Iโ€™m a strong gal and Batman has to do his Bat Things! And I have to do my … strong gal things.

Iโ€™m getting this out there so that you know exactly how I feel. However, I canโ€™t extinguish that little flame of hope. It will be there for a long time still. Just look for it in my window.

Signed with love
Pepper Potts
(I know sheโ€™s from Iron Man, but I just love her name and her character)

Randomness

Randomness

I’m dying to blog about something really meaningful and important… but I can’t seem to come up with anything at the moment. There are plenty meaningful and important things happening in my life on a daily basis, but some of them I don’t want to air on the www because I know who reads here and some things are best left private.

How private are you with your feelings and personal life? I’m very private… but if someone earns my trust then I open up totally. Having said that… I do trust rather easily, something I’m working on. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I know a lot of people who are extremely private and don’t open up their feelings that easily, nor do they trust easily. I understand where they’re coming from and respect it and I often wish I could have a few of those traits, however I don’t. I’ve always been a sensitive, trusting, loving, honest and open person – traits that are bound to land a person in hot water, often!

I’ve learnt a lot though as the years have passed and with life experiences I have toughened up a lot! Not enough I know but perhaps in another 10 years time things will be different. I’m not sure I’d like to be much different because believe it or not I actually quite like who I am. lol ;-p And I like to think that’s a good thing!

I look at some people I know, and believe me I love them just the way they are, and they’re tough and strong and can handle alot of life’s punches SO easily, it seems… however I can’t imagine myself being like that. Is that a bad thing?

Am I being random again? I think random is my middle name. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I wonder how much of this I’m passing on to my sons. I’m sure they’re picking up traits of mine, I just hope they have a lot more confidence than me. I wish this for them. They need this growing up because it’s a hard world out there and I don’t want them being bullied or walked over… things that I had to deal with. We only want the best for our children don’t we? I just hope that I get it right.

Thanks, as always, for reading my arb ramblings and nonsensical rubbish. Take care cupcakes! โค

Tickles and Twinkles

Tickles and Twinkles

I am absolutely blessed and honoured to have been given the gift of motherhood. I gave birth to two incredibly beautiful little boys, Matthew and Joshua, who leave me speechless when I so much as look into their big blue eyes while they tell me they love me. No love can compare to this.

After work last night I lay on the bed and watched cartoons with Matthew and Joshua, while we chatted about the day. I love tickling Matthew, he’s *so* ticklish (just like his mom… sssshhhh!) and Joshua is too, but not as much… he just lies there giggling and wiggling. Matthew actually runs for the hills. I was enjoying having the upper hand when the two of them ganged up together and ambushed me! They tickled and tickled and tickled me so much. My whole body was one huge goosebump! I was screaming and wriggling and the boys though it was HUGE fun! I was not enjoying it, but they were, so I played along. Eventually I had to wave the white flag. Wowee… I still have goosies!

A few minutes later it was bedtime and I took Matthew to bed whilst granny took Joshua to bed. Now, when Matthew was a baby I always used to sing him to sleep… and I can’t sing to save my life, but for some reason, this cute little cherub loved it and I continued to sing him to sleep as he got older. He is turning 7 in April and last night he asked me to sing him to sleep. Whilst laying there thinking of what to sing, he asked for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Just as I was about to sing, he started singing a version that I’ve never heard before. It was so incredibly cute! I recorded him singing it, he sounds rather sleepy though, but listen closely.

I love listening to his cute little voice… aww! After I sang a few songs for him, he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, and asking in a little voice “hug me please Mommy”. ๐Ÿ˜€ My heart is full (As Mozzer sings).

Matt Singing : http://audioboo.fm/boos/281241-matt-singing

Live concerts

Live concerts

There’s something so great about seeing music artists live in concert, especially ones whose music you’re into of course. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Bands/artists I’ve been to see are:-

Indecent Obsession (*gag* – I was very young okay!)
Depeche Mode (were good but not as great as I expected ๐Ÿ˜ฆ )
Iron Maiden (they are such great down to earth guys)
Just Jinger (many times – love them)
Henry Ate (amazing band)
Counting Crows (a very emotional poetic concert – epic!)
Sting (I SO regret being horribly wasted at this concert ๐Ÿ˜ฆ )
Battery 9 (Awesome!)
Mean Mr Mustard (was a poor attendance so I felt embarassed to dance my mad-ass way)
Lenny Kravitz (he was a bit disappointing)
The Cult (the most awesome rockers out)
Goo Goo Dolls (wow… just wow… they are so amazing)
Springbok Nude Girls (ah they’re awesome)
Freshly Ground (the sound wasn’t so great)
Robbie Williams (geez… an entertainer of note! He blew me away!)

I’ve seen a ton of DJ’s… some of which are:-

Small Paul (Tilt – Sherbet Dip)
Funkstar Deluxe (Skyybar)
Tim Deluxe (Harbour)
DJ Sammy (330)
Faithless (ICC Durban)
Ann Savage (330)
Surge (Tiger Tiger)

There have been more but the memory ain’t that great so I’ll add them as I remember. I’m getting old now. :-p

Mars Attacks!

Mars Attacks!

As you know, I’m a 33 year old single mom of 2 little boys. I’ve been separated for almost a year now and my divorce is being processed.

A month ago a good male-friend of mine, C, commented to me that it must be hard for me to find a date because I’m a single mom. I swore blind that men aren’t that shallow and they don’t get put off by something like that, if they meet someone they really like then that doesn’t matter to them.

Well, I’ve been chatting to another male-friend, A, for a few weeks now. We get along really well and have great laughs. So he admitted to me on Sunday night that he would never date a single mom. His reason? Why should he have to take responsibility of “some lazy loser’s kids”. *BIG sigh* I didn’t realise that men felt this way… so I asked some more male-friends.

Male-friend, S, agrees with A, BUT male-friend J, doesn’t agree. He says it actually isn’t a big deal for him whether a woman has children or not. He did hesitate to answer though. lol! ๐Ÿ˜‰ And lastly, my other male-friend, R, agreed with A, however he said that it would depend on the circumstances. R said that if he met a woman he really liked then he would love her and accept her children. He did mention that it was easier to form a relationship with younger children than with teenagers. Fair enough.

I processed this all in my circus/fairground brain last night… lying awake thinking how different this outlook is to mine. In my early 20’s I met a man who was divorced, with 2 kids. I fell in love with him and with his kids. There were difficult times, I won’t lie, but I pushed on because I loved him and if I loved him, then I’d learn to love his children too. Almost 11 years down the line, we got married, had 2 of our own children and are now getting divorced. I still love my stepchildren very much, we’re in contact often and my stepdaughter still calls me Mommy. I can’t look back at this and regret it, never ever will. And I’d do it again. I feel very blessed to have been such a big part of my stepchildren’s lives and I hope I always remain a part of their lives.

So I lay in bed last night, in the dark sweaty heat of this African summer, lol, and I felt a sting of sadness and hurt at hearing this… do all men feel this way? Does it not count that I’m a decent, fun-loving person? But because I’m a single mom I’m “no go territory”? I know I can’t generalise and think that all men surely feel the same way, but the majority of my male-friends said they do. So … what does that lead me to believe?

What if the roles were reversed? If you, a male, are divorced and have custody of your kids, but most women won’t date you because you’re a single dad. Not because you have a bad breath or you fart repeatedly on the first date or you have redneck tendencies… no, because you are a single dad.

I’d be really interested to hear more views/opinions on this. ๐Ÿ™‚ Thanks for reading. ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

A glowing heart… sometimes heavy

A glowing heart… sometimes heavy

We all have issues and people my age and older have a past. We can’t get away from it, it happened. We accept it as best we can and move on, look forward to the future with hope and possibility in our hearts. Well, I do in any case. Sometimes though, I feel that because I’ve had quite a hectic past that I get judged on this … as if people like who I am, but don’t want to have to deal with my “baggage”.

I don’t carry my “baggage” on my back for all to see. I’ve dealt with it and it’s filed away. I am honest though and am not scared to share my life experiences. And I certainly don’t expect anyone else to deal with it. My issues and problems are mine. Be there for me to share with and just talk, but I’d never expect my friends to have to carry my past for me.

I do feel very blessed that I have good friends and a supportive family who have helped me through a lot. Many times I was man-down emotionally and I’ve come through this really well I believe. Which is why I say, we all have a past and a heavy heart to carry at times, but it doesn’t mean that the heavy part of our heart has clouded over the majority of the glowing part of our heart. The glow will prevail! Just give it a chance. ๐Ÿ˜‰

And believe. I believe and I give everyone I meet and know a fair chance. Even if they’ve had chances before. I forgive, even though I don’t forget, because I have a soft heart. Soft and squishy like marshmallow, and just as much fun! โค