The approach of your own birthday means so many different things to each individual. Children are excited and bright-eyed, they can’t wait! Teenagers are excited for the partying. Well in my 20’s I was excited for the partying too, that didn’t stop. In my 30’s I’ve never looked forward to it anymore.
I have always this idea that birthdays should be special. The birthday person should be spoilt and made to feel special. I’m not talking huge expensive material gifts. I mean, breakfast in bed, a dinner that your other half made for you. Or being taken out for dinner. Maybe some flowers (even if stolen from the neighbours verge). I’m always aware of this idea and I go out of my way to make sure that my sons always feel special on their birthday.
For the past good few years, my birthday has been this big anti-climax. I get excited… for that special birthday feeling you get inside… then I realise that it’s not that big a deal to anyone else. And wow… what a lonely horrible feeling.
Two years back, for my birthday, I baked a cake with my sons. We iced it (blue) and put sprinkles on (dinosaurs) and we enjoyed it. I would have preferred a cake more to my specifics décor wise, but the boys were so excited and I wanted them to enjoy themselves. I’ll always remember memories like that.
My birthday wish for this year, Wednesday 12 October 2011, is to have someone special take me to the beach just before sunset … bring a blanket to sit on… a bottle (or 2) of good wine… and something nice to snack on. If it gets chilly, move on to a nice coffee shop and have a big mug of something warm to drink. I long to feel loved, appreciated and respected. Though hope is frail… it’s hard to kill.