Happy to the 8th birthday my Matthew!

Happy to the 8th birthday my Matthew!

A very heartfelt birthday wish to my firstborn son, Matthew, who turns 8 years old today. Well, to be precise, at 12:20pm today, he will be 8 years old officially!

For Matthew, it’s a hugely exciting occasion, celebrating his birthday. It’s fun and happy and he gets spoilt and treated as though he’s King for a Day! He has a chocolate cake with a big “8” candle on it that he blew out this morning when we sang to him. He took home-made cupcakes to school for his class and teacher. He has a play at school today (just fluke that it happens on his birthday but all the more a treat for him and Joshua). And tonight they are getting taken for a burger and chips at Spur. They LOVE Spur. 😀

For Joshua, it’s exciting too! He also got a little gift to celebrate and he walked around this morning telling everyone at school that it is his brother’s birthday. Proud little boy, my angel Joshua, who no matter how big he gets, will always be the baby one in my heart.

For me, it’s a very emotional and proud day. I reflect back to the day of Matthew’s birth. Arriving at dawn at the hospital for a scheduled c-section, bulging tummy on the morning of Friday, 23rd April 2004. The c-section itself was awful, but meeting my firstborn little baby boy for the first time was a moment no words could ever describe.

He was a big boy, 4.13kgs and 53cm long. He lay all squashed up in an incubator sleeping. I was wheeled up in my wheelchair next to him, opened up the little round window and spoke to him. These 2 beautiful little blue eyes shot open and look straight at me. He knew me!!! It was love at first sight for both of us. Haha, Matt is inseparable from me even now.

A little poem I scrapbooked with… for my Matthew and Joshua too…

“No matter who you become
I will always remember you like today
So forgive me if I struggle
To recognize the man you will become
But I’m just a mom
Trying to hold onto the memory
Of my sweet little boy”.

Apologies as I don’t know who wrote it, but it’s beautiful.

Matthew, I wish you all the happiness in the universe, for now and always. You are my heart and soul and everything in my life revolves around you and Joshua. I love you more than life itself.

Happy birthday my handsome, precious, incredible son. ❤

Two pics, of Matthew at this age and of him at age 6 months old. 🙂

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Throwing good after bad

Throwing good after bad

I’m doing this. Throwing my good time, good feelings and good thoughts after people and/or things that are not good for me… all the bad ones.

I miss the good times that I spent with people who weren’t good for me. In reality, the good times were few and far between… the bad times were what dominated. But when you look back and you miss someone, you always seem to miss the good stuff. Why is that? When in a bad, abusive relationship, there isn’t all that much good stuff to miss.

I have come a long way and learnt so much. I deal so much better with bad relationships and bad people or bad situations now. It still hurts sometimes, I am after all only human.

So now, when I think about someone in my past who I miss, who was not good for me… I stop myself and rather throw my good happy thoughts after what’s good in my life. Looking at the positive, and the people who care about me and who want to be in my life, for me.

I can’t continue to let the negative suck me down, I’m rising up on the positive and letting it carry me through. My beautiful boys and I deserve happiness just as much as anyone else. We’re good people, wanting to live a good happy life.