Until we know…

Until we know…

Until we know what it is and the correct way to handle it and progress forward… I am fumbling in the dark as to how to help my youngest son Joshua.

Joshua potentially has ADHD or Aspergers or who knows. He is currently being assessed by an Educational Psychologist, a really lovely lady, who I have placed my trust and faith in.

Joshua is extremely adorable and gorgeous. I love this little guy to absolute bits. He challenges me in ways I don’t think he’s aware of though. Joshua doesn’t hear me much when I speak to him or ask him to do something. I have to gently move his face to look at me and even then he diverts his eyes away sometimes, scared he’ll miss something else going on… or just because his thoughts are maybe immersed in something else that has his attention.

Joshua can talk both hind legs off a donkey. And if you ask him to please stop or ask him if his mouth gets sore from all the talking, he’ll take a pause, look at you with a confused expression, and then just carry on talking. He doesn’t seem to notice if you have maybe switched off to the conversation or if you are not listening anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to listen, but at times I’m so exhausted that I just cannot listen to a full 15 minutes of a certain type of trading card that he’s designing.
Joshua is such a creative imaginative child. He astounds me with the thoughts that are in his head. I am not sure if they’re moving too fast for him to keep still and focus on for a decent amount of time…

I am not sure what is going on. All I know is that my beautiful boy is gifted. He’ll make up the most amazing story from scratch… or he’ll draw a whole comic strip featuring a story he’s made up… or he’ll design his own trading cards from pieces of cardboard he’s cut up.

Joshua is also an avid bookworm. He’s been reading since he was in Grade R and he hasn’t stopped. I have always encouraged reading with my boys and I’m so proud to have two bookworms. I can only ever see good coming from it. Joshua will come home from school and take his big brother, Matthew’s school reader book and read it finished. He isn’t interested in his Grade 1 reader. He’ll also stand over Matthew’s shoulder while Matthew is doing his Maths homework and try help Matthew.

Where Joshua battles is his concentration in the classroom, his concentration in most situations, except to watch a movie or play a PC, PS2 or PSP game. He mostly cannot sit still, fidgets, jumps continuously, will flap his arms, will make the strangest poses while standing watching a movie.
Sometimes I lose my cool and I get so frustrated. I hate that I don’t have more time to be able to be the one to teach him the Speech Therapy or the Occupational Therapy that he needs. I hate that I don’t have more patience to sit and explain things better to him or wait longer for him to do things. He is so easily distracted and I just wish I knew the right way to guide him and also discipline him when he gets out of line. I just want to do it all and do it all right. But I am one person and a single parent. My resources are minimal, especially with regards to finance.

I am not sure what the diagnosis will be at the end of Joshua’s assessments, but I’m determined that no matter what I will help my little guy through this. I just pray for strength and guidance for myself and my family to be able to help Joshua achieve his full potential as I know in my heart that this little boy is extremely gifted and has something very special to offer the world.


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