So it is what it is

So it is what it is

My last post was about my Joshie and him being assessed.

Well, we saw the Paed last Tuesday and he confirmed that Joshua, without a doubt, has Aspergers Syndrome. I informed Joshua’s Educ Psych who agreed with the diagnosis. All well and good because I knew he had it anyway… did I? I researched this for months and knew he was an Aspie before they told me…

But then why am I taking this so badly? I cried for the first 24 hours on and off. My sadness and anxiety is centered around whether I can get Joshua through this well enough for him to become the well-adjusted adult that he deserves to be. Will the medicine harm him in any way? Will he get into the remedial school I need to apply to? Can I afford the remedial school and the new uniforms etc? Will Joshua thrive at the remedial school? Will he be happy? Will I be able to make it easy on him? Will I be able to make his life good?

All these thoughts keep flying through my head. It’s all on my shoulders and I don’t want to stuff this up. It’s my baby’s life for goodness sake. Well okay he’s not my baby as he’s 7yo next month, but deep down he’ll always be my baby.

I won’t stop researching on Aspergers. I won’t stop trying to help Joshua with this in any way that I can. I am very determined. He’s an amazing, intelligent, qwerky, gorgeous child and I love him with all my heart. My eldest, Matthew, is amazing with Joshua and I couldn’t ask for better boys.

Just this last Sunday the boys were eating brekkie at the table and Joshie pipes up to me, “Mommy, you make every day the best day”. My heart is full. 🙂

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