Some Joshua-isms

Some Joshua-isms

My little Aspie son fills my life with many different things, laughter and amazement being just two things he makes me feel on a daily basis. Joshua will come up with the most random, cutest, unique sayings or ways of seeing things. I just love seeing the world through his eyes. Sometimes I wish I could know what was going on in his thoughts but I guess I never will.

Like for example when my fiance (yes that’s another post entirely!) turned off the bathroom light while Joshua was still in there… Josh exclaims “Help! My eyes are off!”.

Or when we’re walking to school one morning and I ask Joshua to pull up his socks, he pulls up his shorts. I ask again for him to pull up his socks, he again pulls up his shorts. This goes on for about 3 more times. Eventually I have to stop him and show him his pants. He says “Oh!” and pulls up his socks… takes a few steps forwards, then tells me that he’s given himself a wedgie by pulling his pants up too high.

When I need his help around the house, I have to say “Oink” loudly, then he’ll come running. He’s in love with Bad Piggies (from the Angry Birds bunch) and he even has an Oink language now.

Josh has an extremely fixated interest in Ariel Washing Powder. He’ll tell you all about. He has memorised the tv adverts and when we bought a bag of it he was like a kid on Christmas morning. He insisted on carrying the bag all the way home, stroked it in the car and then bugged me relentlessly when we got home to do one load of washing with it.

And the time when he started taking Straterra for the first time, he insisted on reading the package insert… I discreetly had to hide it somewhere.

In the mornings when he wakes up, he has the most wonderful stories to tell me and mostly it’s because he’s “nocturnal” and is busy with other stuff all night long.

So it is what it is

So it is what it is

My last post was about my Joshie and him being assessed.

Well, we saw the Paed last Tuesday and he confirmed that Joshua, without a doubt, has Aspergers Syndrome. I informed Joshua’s Educ Psych who agreed with the diagnosis. All well and good because I knew he had it anyway… did I? I researched this for months and knew he was an Aspie before they told me…

But then why am I taking this so badly? I cried for the first 24 hours on and off. My sadness and anxiety is centered around whether I can get Joshua through this well enough for him to become the well-adjusted adult that he deserves to be. Will the medicine harm him in any way? Will he get into the remedial school I need to apply to? Can I afford the remedial school and the new uniforms etc? Will Joshua thrive at the remedial school? Will he be happy? Will I be able to make it easy on him? Will I be able to make his life good?

All these thoughts keep flying through my head. It’s all on my shoulders and I don’t want to stuff this up. It’s my baby’s life for goodness sake. Well okay he’s not my baby as he’s 7yo next month, but deep down he’ll always be my baby.

I won’t stop researching on Aspergers. I won’t stop trying to help Joshua with this in any way that I can. I am very determined. He’s an amazing, intelligent, qwerky, gorgeous child and I love him with all my heart. My eldest, Matthew, is amazing with Joshua and I couldn’t ask for better boys.

Just this last Sunday the boys were eating brekkie at the table and Joshie pipes up to me, “Mommy, you make every day the best day”. My heart is full. 🙂

Until we know…

Until we know…

Until we know what it is and the correct way to handle it and progress forward… I am fumbling in the dark as to how to help my youngest son Joshua.

Joshua potentially has ADHD or Aspergers or who knows. He is currently being assessed by an Educational Psychologist, a really lovely lady, who I have placed my trust and faith in.

Joshua is extremely adorable and gorgeous. I love this little guy to absolute bits. He challenges me in ways I don’t think he’s aware of though. Joshua doesn’t hear me much when I speak to him or ask him to do something. I have to gently move his face to look at me and even then he diverts his eyes away sometimes, scared he’ll miss something else going on… or just because his thoughts are maybe immersed in something else that has his attention.

Joshua can talk both hind legs off a donkey. And if you ask him to please stop or ask him if his mouth gets sore from all the talking, he’ll take a pause, look at you with a confused expression, and then just carry on talking. He doesn’t seem to notice if you have maybe switched off to the conversation or if you are not listening anymore. It’s not that I don’t want to listen, but at times I’m so exhausted that I just cannot listen to a full 15 minutes of a certain type of trading card that he’s designing.
Joshua is such a creative imaginative child. He astounds me with the thoughts that are in his head. I am not sure if they’re moving too fast for him to keep still and focus on for a decent amount of time…

I am not sure what is going on. All I know is that my beautiful boy is gifted. He’ll make up the most amazing story from scratch… or he’ll draw a whole comic strip featuring a story he’s made up… or he’ll design his own trading cards from pieces of cardboard he’s cut up.

Joshua is also an avid bookworm. He’s been reading since he was in Grade R and he hasn’t stopped. I have always encouraged reading with my boys and I’m so proud to have two bookworms. I can only ever see good coming from it. Joshua will come home from school and take his big brother, Matthew’s school reader book and read it finished. He isn’t interested in his Grade 1 reader. He’ll also stand over Matthew’s shoulder while Matthew is doing his Maths homework and try help Matthew.

Where Joshua battles is his concentration in the classroom, his concentration in most situations, except to watch a movie or play a PC, PS2 or PSP game. He mostly cannot sit still, fidgets, jumps continuously, will flap his arms, will make the strangest poses while standing watching a movie.
Sometimes I lose my cool and I get so frustrated. I hate that I don’t have more time to be able to be the one to teach him the Speech Therapy or the Occupational Therapy that he needs. I hate that I don’t have more patience to sit and explain things better to him or wait longer for him to do things. He is so easily distracted and I just wish I knew the right way to guide him and also discipline him when he gets out of line. I just want to do it all and do it all right. But I am one person and a single parent. My resources are minimal, especially with regards to finance.

I am not sure what the diagnosis will be at the end of Joshua’s assessments, but I’m determined that no matter what I will help my little guy through this. I just pray for strength and guidance for myself and my family to be able to help Joshua achieve his full potential as I know in my heart that this little boy is extremely gifted and has something very special to offer the world.