Yeah so… I ain’t perfect. Wow, imagine that?! So fuck it then… all my imperfections can go straight to my Fuck-It List.
Imperfections and Fuck-It’s listed as follows, randomly and in no particular order of importance:-
I am overweight – I constantly try dieting. I love food. I’ve always been bigger than other girls. Gah.
I am an almost divorcee – as of 17 November 2011 I shall be a divorced single mom of 2.
I am not rich – in fact I just make it by most months.
I don’t have my driver’s license – Something I’ll always wish to have.
I catch the bus to and from work – It’s actually not bad.
I live in a granny flat and don’t have much privacy – refer to the “am not rich part”.
I don’t have much in material forms – I’d love me a flat screen, a lounge suite and a new double bed.
I have sleep apnea – I am supposed to sleep with a CPAP machine and mask however it’s broken.
I am not on a medical aid – Refer to “am not rich” and “broken CPAP machine”.
I have depression – I take Serdep for it, hopefully not forever. I’m working on this.
My ankles become cankles in the summer as they swell so much. Argh I hate this.
Emotionally I’m slightly damaged – long story. But it’s finished and gone and I’m working on this too.
My Yeehaa List:-
I have 2 absolutely beautiful and perfect sons.
I have a job and am a PA, something I enjoy doing.
I have a roof over my head, clothes on my body and food in my cupboard.
My sons love me to bits and I’m very honoured to be their mom.
I have 2 loving protective brothers.
I have a caring mom I can talk to about anything at any time, even though she lives far away.
I have friends who give me hugs and lend an ear.
I have a few little luxuries that I’ve been fortunate enough to win or been given as gifts.
I live near the beach, which is a natural therapy.
I have my health, for the most part, and am able to play with my children.
Emotionally I’m fighting for my confidence and self-esteem, I’m determined to grow stronger with each passing day. I WILL stand up and be counted!
Okay, that’s that for now. Move along now folks, nothing else to see… 😉
So many people have a “Bucket List”… which is a list of things they want to do/accomplish before they die.
Well, I thought about it and decided I want to create a “Fuckit List” for myself. A list of things that I can just write down on a piece of paper, say adios to, and shred in the paper shredder, literally.
We carry around so much stress, anger, resentment, hatred, negativity etc, that it just makes a person’s life miserable and pushes you closer to needing a Bucket List.
So from now on, all those things that make me unhappy, stressful, that hurt me, including the people responsible therefore, are going on my Fuckit List.
Human Rights Day falls on 21 March 2011 here in South Africa so that afforded us hard-working citizens a long weekend! Yay! It was absolutely lovely, however very busy. Please allow me to share what shananigans and mischief we got up to.
On Friday night, the boys watched a dvd and I finished reading a great book by Amanda Hocking called “My Blood Approves”. It’s the first in a series consisting of 4 novels. I can’t wait to start the next one. The next morning I did a mountain of washing, hung it up and proceeded to relive the beautiful tale of Cinderella by dressing in some rags and going down on all fours to scrub floors and walls. My knees are still not friends with me.
I made my little boys lunch and then we went for a little outing to the shops with Ouma to get a few essentials. Ouma spoilt the boys with a Gogo Crazy Bones toy each. Lucky little munchkins! When we got home, I embarked on my main weekend project! A braai! Here in South Africa, one of our favourite pastimes is braaiing. A braai is a BBQ, held over an open fire, which is contained in a “braai” stand or Weber. We use firelighters and charcoal, sometimes chopped wood.
I put charcoal and firelighters in the braai and lit the firelighters. They flamed to life immediately and I chased the boys away, paranoid mom lighting a fire in the garden for the first time is not to be taken lightly. Matt and Josh watched excitedly from a distance then started gathering “firewood” (twigs and leaves) to make their own little pretend braai. To cut a long story short, and a lot of fanning, the fire was good and I was able to braai our chicken pieces to perfection. All this whilst making a potato salad and a curried bean salad.
Matt and Josh had such a fun time playing outside in the sand under the trees that come supper time they were so filthy. So I popped them into the bath, scrubbed them til they sparkled (no, not like Edward Cullen) and plonked them at their dinner table to enjoy Mom’s-first-braai-and-not-burnt-offerings. After dinner, I made popcorn and we all settled down to watch Toy Story 3 on Mnet, which sadly didn’t materialise, so we settled on Avatar… yet again. Luckily my boys really like the blue people so I read a book whilst sitting next to them.
On Sunday morning I lay in bed with my boys and we snuggled a bit, played tickles and gave each other lots of hugs and kisses. Well each other meaning them to me and me to them. Matt and Josh aren’t that big on hugging and kissing each other. It’s a love/hate thing. 😉 I started preparing lunch while we watched Fantastic Mr Fox on TV. I also prepared a batch of choc/mint muffins for after lunch.
After lunch, Oupa and Ouma took the boys and I on an outing to the Golden Hours Flea Market in Durban North. It was really awesome there. They have a few stalls selling different wares, plus a few little stalls selling food/drinks and a big seating area under the trees for you to relax and watch a singer playing songs on his guitar and computer.
In another huge open section is the play area. There is so much to play on that the boys literally just run in circles trying to decide where to go first! Ouma gave them money to go on a mini Ferris Wheel which was absolutely adorable. And Josh went on an airplane ride. After that we went to the boys’ uncle’s house to have a little visit and swim. A perfect way to end a lovely afternoon. That night, after the boys were fed and bathed and put into bed, I went out with a friend. We went to Galleria for a Dom Pedro and a movie – Red Riding Hood. I had a really lovely time. 🙂
On Monday morning bright and early, I hung up more washing, then packed the boys up as Kerri and her kiddies were meeting us to go to the rockpools at the beach. It was a scorcher of a day, around 34 degrees Celsius, and that’s not including the humidity levels! Luckily it was low tide so the kids all played in the rockpools which were absolutely teeming with life! A man even caught an octopus but thankully let it go back into the ocean after we all had a good ogle at it. We then swam in the big tidal pool which was absolutely FREEZING! Josh clung to me like a little monkey, och, so cute! We didn’t stay too long as the sun was brutal.
For lunch I made the boys Spongebob’s Crabby Patties! Which are actually just plain beef burger patties. 😉 They wolfed it down then played outside and watched dvds and I had a snooze under the fan… ahhh bliss I tell you!
That evening I got picked up and taken out to Gateway where we had a lovely dinner at Piatto and walked around Gateway for ages just chatting and having fun. I had a squizz in the tattoo parlour and found some interesting ideas for my next tattoo. 🙂
So here I am at work, back at the grindstone, but fulfilled… it was a good weekend and I got to spend it with very special people. ❤ ya all. xx
I was chatting to a friend on MSN this morning and he said something to me that made me think a bit… yeah I know… I did take 2 paracetamol for the pain. 😉
He said: “ur really sweet, i have no idea why someone hasnt snapped you up”. (sic)
How sweet is that? *blush*
Um sorry, returning to the point, I answered that I think it’s because I’m chubby and I snore. I wonder if it is so. I prefer to say curvy or voluptuous, but let’s just call it what it is, I’m chubby, curvy+, voluptuous uber. I don’t skinny dip, I do indeed chunky dunk. And damn it’s fun!
And yes I snore, not a cute little purring kitten snore. A huge loud roaring snore that rattles the windows!
I guess are the kind of things one leaves off of their Online Dating profile? … Oh dear… oops! 😉
I am absolutely blessed and honoured to have been given the gift of motherhood. I gave birth to two incredibly beautiful little boys, Matthew and Joshua, who leave me speechless when I so much as look into their big blue eyes while they tell me they love me. No love can compare to this.
After work last night I lay on the bed and watched cartoons with Matthew and Joshua, while we chatted about the day. I love tickling Matthew, he’s *so* ticklish (just like his mom… sssshhhh!) and Joshua is too, but not as much… he just lies there giggling and wiggling. Matthew actually runs for the hills. I was enjoying having the upper hand when the two of them ganged up together and ambushed me! They tickled and tickled and tickled me so much. My whole body was one huge goosebump! I was screaming and wriggling and the boys though it was HUGE fun! I was not enjoying it, but they were, so I played along. Eventually I had to wave the white flag. Wowee… I still have goosies!
A few minutes later it was bedtime and I took Matthew to bed whilst granny took Joshua to bed. Now, when Matthew was a baby I always used to sing him to sleep… and I can’t sing to save my life, but for some reason, this cute little cherub loved it and I continued to sing him to sleep as he got older. He is turning 7 in April and last night he asked me to sing him to sleep. Whilst laying there thinking of what to sing, he asked for Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. Just as I was about to sing, he started singing a version that I’ve never heard before. It was so incredibly cute! I recorded him singing it, he sounds rather sleepy though, but listen closely.
I love listening to his cute little voice… aww! After I sang a few songs for him, he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face, and asking in a little voice “hug me please Mommy”. 😀 My heart is full (As Mozzer sings).
I’m such a music lover and I’ve been listening to yet more sorts lately. I find that it all revolves around what’s happening in my life and my moods.
Lately my play list consists of AC/DC, U2, Armin van Buuren/Oceanlab, Tiesto, Medina, The Fray, The Cult, Kings of Leon and some others. It has changed from a few weeks ago where it consisted mainly of Kylie Minogue, Katy Perry, Maroon 5, Sugababes, Keri Hilson amongst others.
So the trend here is that it’s gone from happy mainstream pop to more serious music. Well, that’s the best way I can describe it. I can’t always seem to put what I want to say into words… it’s very frustrating. 😉 I have no idea why my playlist has changed so much… actually no I do know. haha 😉
This is a mindless blog entry… but it’s my blog and I can cry if I want to! But I’m not crying, just talking shite… an avid hobby of mine. 😉
Oh yes… I also find that my music preference differs to what I am doing. Like for instance, tomorrow morning when I clean my flat, I’ll be blaring happy dance/pop music to give me energy. Then I’ll wind down later with some Snow Patrol. If I go walking, then it’s rock or dance music, stuff that makes me want to move.
Yeh, I know I babble… you should hear me in real life… *rolls eyes*